Ep. 006: The Most Powerful Tool In The World

Ep. 006: The Most Powerful Tool In The World

So today I wanted to come in and discuss something that I feel like is extremely important, something that we don’t talk about enough. And what I want to talk about is the most powerful tool in the world, and I’m talking, the most powerful tool to ever exist. And no one can argue this. No one can disagree with that. The facts have proven that this is the most powerful tool that has ever existed. This tool has cured some of the biggest problems, solved some of the world’s biggest problems, and the same time, it’s caused some of the biggest problems.

You see, this tool can be used to help solve problems, or it can be used as a weapon. And this tool can be a weapon that can actually take lives. Now, this tool isn’t just… it’s worse than any gun that’s ever existed. It’s worse than any knife, it’s worse than any car accident. This tool is responsible for more deaths than anything that’s ever existed in this world. And this tool is called words.

Words are the most powerful tool to ever exist in history, and they always will be. Words are responsible for some of the most influential, biggest world changes to ever exist. It’s also responsible for the most deaths that has ever happened. This is my dog right here. So it was also responsible for the most deaths that has ever happened, right?

If we think about words, if we think about the power of words, we really need to start to comprehend how powerful those truly are. I want to give an example. There’s an example of how powerful words can be, and I’m going to explain that. Let’s talk about what I’m about to do. I’m about to embark on a 100 mile walk to go forgive my mother, 100 miles, three days of walking over 30 miles a day to finally get to the fourth day where I’m going to sit face to face with my mother, and I’m going to say three powerful words. Those three powerful words are, I forgive you. Those are the three words.

Two things are going to happen when I use this tool, when I use the tool of words. Now, it only happens because it’s going to be something I am speaking honestly about. I am not stating a feeling that I don’t feel, I am going to mean it when I say it. Two things are going to happen. The first thing that’s going to happen is I am finally going to be free. I am going to be free from all the anger, the hatred, the disappointment, the self doubt. All these feelings that have been stuck to me since I was a child, I will finally be free of, and I will finally be able to move forward with my life and transform my life and become such a better man because of these three words that I use.

Now, that’s what’s going to happen for me. Now, on the other side, something’s going to happen for my mum, it is going to give her freedom, it is going to free her from her guilt, from her self hate. Now, do I know that she feels guilty? Do I think that she hates herself? I don’t know. I don’t know because I’ve never spoken to her about it. Vut if we really think about it, yes, I am doing this for myself, yes, I am forgiving her for me, not for her. However, if it gives her freedom, I will not be mad about that, right? Because part of this journey is letting go of all the anger and hatred that I have towards her and finally having peace in mysel. But those three powerful words is going to change both of our lives, is going to change hers and is definitely going to change mine, is going to give me freedom.

Now, that’s how this tool can be used to change the world, it’s going to change my world. But if we look at the opposite side of words and the words that can be used as a weapon, I’m going to give you another example. My entire childhood, people would always tell me, “You’re so skinny, you should eat more.” Now, these words were meant to be a compliment because that is meant, in everybody’s language, as a compliment, “You’re so skinny, be proud of it.” You’re so skinny, you should eat more, isn’t meant to be a hateful term.

However, if we look at those words and change the circumstance, if we were to go to an obese individual and say, “You’re so fat, you should eat less,” and think that they should take it as a compliment, would they? The reality is they wouldn’t, because those words are hateful and mean, and they cost self doubt and self hate and low self-esteem. So words are the most powerful thing that’s ever existed. We can either raise someone all the way up, or we can tear them all the way down. And when we tear someone down, it can cause death, not because you physically injured someone, but because you mentally or emotionally injured someone to the point of where they get to one day where they no longer want to live in this world.

Now, I’m responsible for using both. I’m responsible. I have lifted people all the way up and I am proud of those moments. However, the same time, I have used words to tear someone all the way down, and I’ve admitted that numerous times in my videos, in my podcast. I’ve admitted to the fact that I used to emotionally abuse my wife and I would tear her down, all the way down. And if we really look at it, part of this journey is self reflection, is learning about myself, and I need to start learning about how I am using the most powerful tool in the world called words. How am I using that?

If we think about words, oftentimes, we get so mad at the hateful things that people say to us and the way people tear us down, we get so mad at things that people say, things that we will never forget. There is someone in your life that has said something so negative to you that you will remember that till the day you die. You will remember that and you will be angry at them forever for that. You will hate them forever because of those things that they said to you.

However, when we look in the mirror, we don’t speak to ourselves any differently, ever. We speak to ourselves the same way that everybody else does and we seem to be okay with that. We seem to be okay with the fact that we look in the mirror and call ourselves fat, or ugly, or failures, or all the things. When we look in the mirror, we say some of the worst thing is to ourselves. We may not say it out loud, but we think it in our head and we say it subconsciously, “Wow, you’re so ugly. Ooh, look at that pimple. Oh, you’re so skinny. You’re so fat. You’re such a failure. What happened to you? Why aren’t you where you’re supposed to be?”

So words are something that we need to start looking at in a much different capacity than the way we look at them. The words that I’m using in my videos, the words I’m using in my podcasts, the words that I use, I always think about before I do. Now, is it scripted out? No. Do I stutter? Yes. Is there times where my dog gets some on face? Yes, it’s going to happen. But words are so powerful, we need to start thinking about the way we use them and not just with those that surround us, but with ourselves.

How many times do we self-hate, do we self-doubt, do we say such hateful things to ourselves, and then hypocrisy at its best, get mad at someone else for saying the exact same things that we say to ourselves because we give ourselves permission? We make it okay for us to say it about ourselves, we make it wrong for someone else to say it to us.

So part of this journey on this self reflection, I’m realizing I need to start changing the way that I use words, both for the people that surround me, and for myself. I need to start understanding the true power that comes with this tool, this tool that can be used as a weapon, this tool that has been used as a weapon on me and that I have used as a weapon on other people and myself.

So we need to start really thinking about the words. As I’m getting closer to this journey, I’m now eight days away from going on my 100 mile walk, eight days away from saying three words that is going to change my life. And those three words aren’t I love you, those three words aren’t I hate you, those three words are, “I forgive you,” and these words are going to be the most powerful words I’ve ever spoken in my entire life. These words are going to give me the most freedom that I’ve ever had in my entire life, more freedom than any amount of money could ever provide me, more freedom than any other human could ever provide me.

You see, these three words that I’m going to use is me freeing myself. It’s not someone else freeing me. It’s not my mom coming to me and saying that she’s sorry. It’s me saying, “I forgive you,” and those words are going to be the most powerful words in my entire life, the most powerful words that I will ever speak, more powerful than I love you, more powerful than I hate you, more powerful than anything else I could ever think of, I forgive you. These are the three words that are going to change my life.

So I want you to start thinking about that for yourself on your own journey. When you’re going through this journey of forgiveness for yourself, you need to forgive yourself for saying such hateful things to yourself. Forgive yourself, go to the mirror and say, “I forgive you for being so mean to yourself, for being so hateful towards yourself, for pointing out every flaw that you could possibly see to yourself.” I am bald. I am bald, and I shave every other day. Now, when I look in the mirror, I could say something hateful about it. Instead, every morning now, part of this journey is I’m changing things about my life every single day. Every morning when I wake up, I’m going to go to that mirror and compliment myself. Is that egotistical? Is it narcissistic? No, it’s called self-love.

We all have self-doubt, low self-esteem, self-hate. What if we changed that to self-love? What if we finally went to the mirror and talk the way to ourselves that we wish everybody else would talk to us? How can we expect other people to use words to lift us up, when all we do is use words to tear ourselves down. This is absolutely amazing. The journey is every single day, I’m having a breakthrough, every single day something new is happening, every single day, my life is changing. But it’s taking work, it’s hard work.

Controlling the words that come out of our mouth is one of the most difficult things that we’ll have to do in our life. We have to have self-control of the words that we use towards ourselves and those that we care about, including those that have hurt us. The hardest thing to do is to forgive someone, knowing that you’re going to free them from guilt when you want them to feel guilty, you want them to hurt because they’ve hurt you so bad. But I’ve had to look at that, I’ve had to really reflect on myself and think to myself, “Why do I want her to hurt so bad? Simply because I want her to feel pain? Simply because I want her to feel the same pain that I felt? That’s not right. That’s not me doing what I need to do to fix myself.”

Oftentimes, we want someone else that has hurt us to hurt just as bad as we do, so we will do everything in our power to do that. Now, I could go to this person and I could say such mean and hateful things to my mother, I could remind her of everything that has ever happened, but instead, I’m going and I’m simply going to say, “I forgive you, mom. I forgive you for the life that you raised me in. I forgive you for asking me to help frame someone else for a murder that you committed. I forgive you for putting me in a position where I had to testify against you in court because you tried to convince other people that my brother committed the murder. I forgive you for everything.” And that forgiveness is going to free me and free her, and that’s okay. It’s okay if she gets freed.

Now, she feels that she did nothing wrong, if she feels like she shouldn’t feel guilty for anything, that’s okay too because I’m not doing this for her. I am doing this for selfish reasons, I am doing this for me. But those words are going to be used as power to set me free. And the words of affirmation that I use for myself every single morning when I look in the mirror, whether I have a pimple, whether my baldness is more bald than I already am, whether I have bags under my eyes, whether I feel extra skinny that day or extra weak, no matter what happens, every single morning, I’m going to look at myself in my eyes, am going to say something positive about myself. And it may sound cheesy, it may sound dumb, but I don’t care. I don’t care what the outside world thinks about my personal journey. I’m sharing it publicly in hopes that it motivates you to do the same for yourself.

But if you really think about it, we are so concerned about other people hurting our feelings or saying mean things to us, yet we spend so much time saying the meanest things to ourselves, degrading ourselves every single day, looking for that flaw every time we look in the mirror. So now it’s time to change that. It’s time for me to change that. I’m going to change the way I speak to myself. I’m going to use the power of words to use it as something positive instead of as a weapon, both towards myself and those other people that I love and the people that have hurt me.

I really want you to comprehend that today. I want you to take time to think about this. I want you to realize… I want you to think back to that person that you’ve hurt. I want you to think back to the time that you said something mean and hateful of someone else, and don’t disagree as you’ve never said this. I promise you, every single one of us has used words to hurt someone because they hurt us. Because they made us feel pain, our reaction was, “I want you to hurt just as bad as I did, so I’m going to say something to make you feel the way I feel.” We’ve all done it. We’re all guilty of it.

So we want to use the power for words of, “I’m sorry, please forgive me,” and we want to use the words as, “I forgive you,” to ourselves and to those that have hurt us. The power of words can literally change our lives. And I’m so glad I had that self reflection today as I’m out here looking at this property, as I’m out here contemplating and preparing mentally and physically to go on this 100 mile journey to realize the amazing, powerful words that we use every single day, the hateful words that we use, the positive words that we use, the words of affirmation, the words of negativity.

We need to start focusing more towards the words of affirmation and the words of forgiveness, forgiveness to those that have hurt us, forgiveness to ourselves, forgiveness to circumstances that we had no control over. We need to learn forgiveness and affirmation. And we need to erase negativity, no matter how hard it is, no matter how angry we are at the people that have hurt us. Our goal, our mission should not be to hurt them back. Our mission should be to forgive them, so we have our own freedom. We don’t do this for them, we do this for ourselves, but if they get freedom from it too, that’s okay.

I can’t tell you how amazing it is to have this realization because for the longest time, all I wanted for my mom was hurt. All I ever wanted for her was her to feel pain. I wanted her to feel the same pain that I have felt in my life, so I always wanted to use words to make her feel pain. But now, after getting prepared for this journey, getting ready for this walk, I’ve realized I don’t want her to feel pain anymore. I want her to feel relief. I want her to let go of everything just as I’m going to be letting go of everything. And that’s okay.

It’s okay to not want to hurt the person that hurts you. It’s okay to not want to hurt yourself the way others have hurt you. It’s okay to look in the mirror and say something nice about yourself. It’s okay to compliment yourself on your looks, on your success. It’s okay to look in the mirror and not hate the person looking back at you. It’s not weird, it’s not negative. We need to learn words of affirmation for ourselves and words of forgiveness for others as well as ourselves, and I hope you take this with you today.

Today, I want to give you a mission. I want you to go home and I want you to say something positive to someone in your life, whether it’s your significant other, a sibling, a parent, a child. I want you to take your time today and go say something positive to someone, and someone that you know they need to hear it. And then after you say that something positive to someone, I want you to go home, I want you to look in the mirror, I want you to say something positive to yourself. I know this sounds crazy, I know this sounds woo-woo, I know this sounds hippy, but it’s working. It’s working for me. It’s working for me every morning now. When I go look in the mirror and say something positive about myself, it makes me feel better about my entire day. It makes my day.

Now, I’m focusing on saying more positive things towards my family, my wife, my children, towards everybody that’s part of my life. My dad yesterday for Father’s Day, normally it’s just, “Happy Father’s Day,” I thanked him for being such a big part of my life, and that I forgave him a long time ago for not being around when I was a kid, because he asked for forgiveness when I was 19 and I forgave him, and we created a relationship since then.

So I want you to realize the true power of words, and I want you to consciously think about how you’re using those. Are you using it as a weapon, or are you using it as a tool to build something up? Are you using it as a weapon to destroy something, or are you using it as a tool to create something? Think about that today.

Andrew O'Brien

Since 2013, Andrew has traveled all over the world sharing his story. Everywhere from college campuses, military bases and even making it to the White House. He not only experienced a lot of trauma but was able to actually overcome it all and create a better life. He wanted to share his story with the world so it would give them not only hope that things will get better but also the motivation to take action and make things better for themselves.
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